You always see that girl at the parties stumbling her way around, or that guy pouring beer on everyone yelling frat bath because he thinks that is appropriate. Why is the consumption of alcohol taking place if people cannot hold themselves together while drinking? There is a difference in going out and having fun then going out and getting highly intoxicated and acting ignorant! This is college, a place where people can achieve a succeeding career, so how did you make it here? I just figured that college involved being smart. Maybe try focusing on the term “Drink Responsibly!”
A night out with the girls is supposed to be a fun time. Then plans tend to be ruined when you end up having to babysit your friends. My friends can tend to sometimes be that girl. At a party one night I decided to be the designated driver. It was pretty obvious walking into that party that no one else was in any shape to be. I’m still having a good time dancing and mingling with everyone. I walk in the DJ room and there is one of my friends pasted out on the couch. Really! Obviously she was way past her limit. So, I go over there and make sure she is even still breathing. While checking her pulse (because you literally have to do that with this girl) I smell something horrible. Looking to see what was around me I was trying to figure out what it could have been. Finally I realized she had thrown up and it was in her hair. I try to get her up to take her home and she wasn’t budging. I let her lay there while I kept checking on her… The next thing I know she is gone. I start looking around for her and I find her sitting in a corner of the room with her legs spread wide open. She seems very lady-like at this point. I finally have some of the guys get her in my car and take her back to the dorm to put her in bed. Not remembering what all that happened I had to remind her the next night. I was telling her about the throw up and she still had yet to wash her hair! Why would someone ever want to be put in a situation where they can’t control their body, and wake up the next morning with not having a clue what happened last night Some people call that a successful night but its more like being back in pre-school.
Alcohol has a tendency of changing people’s attitudes toward others. Having disrespect towards someone while you have been drinking is probably the worst idea. Bad situations always come about. Don’t have the courage to disrespect anyone, especially your designated driver. Once again another night of me being a genuine person, or a designated driver, and this intoxicated girl wants to start yelling in my face, and telling me to shut up, and take her to this place, and being very disrespectful! Her actions were all because some guy didn’t give her what she wanted to hear. Sorry but I’m not going to deal with that attitude when your actions aren’t even my fault. One more word and she was getting smacked, and that one more word didn’t take long to come out and neither did my hand across her face! Luckily it was one of my sorority sisters so the argument ended when she felt the tingling on her face. Who in their right mind would disrespect their sober ride? When alcohol can change your attitude to disrespectful then it obviously doesn’t need to be in your possession. Going back to my point on this is college and a little common senses and respect should follow!
Following up on going out, the most humorous entertainment is seeing the change, and how differently people act with alcohol. Girls giving lap dances make out sessions on the dance floor, walking into a bedroom with a guy (we all know what’s going to happen), or leaving with a guy (that ones an obvious, your not staying in your bed tonight) is something I or hardly anyone else would do when they are sober! Even though there are those few exceptions, it’s just not logical! What makes you think that a one-night fling will ever get you a guy? I know you might be intoxicated but have you lost your mind? That one night fling is going to add up to be with multiple guys. Then who wants a girl that has been ran through by all his friends. But while your walking on campus the next day and the guy doesn’t even acknowledge you, remember it was that drunken slut coming out of you and he just wanted you for the sexual relations. This might sound kind of harsh but be realistic! So next time your at a party, don’t fall for a boy (literally) so he doesn’t have to pick you up off the ground!
So does anyone want to party! But partying with preschoolers isn’t my thing so put your big girl panties on! I’m trying to have fun, not check pulses! You know your limit, if not then college isn’t for you! Go for classy instead of trashy (trust me classy is always an advantage)! Have respect for more than just yourself. You will go farther in life, or for now closer to that next party. Don’t live with regrets. So think about going home with that guy. Is the outcome going to be worth it the next morning? Obviously it’s college life so live it up! But Drink Responsibly!
Sincerely, Lacey Hutchison
Posts
Thesis: People not being able to handle their alcohol and they end up making fools of themselves. Drink Responsibily!
ReplyDeleteReasons:
-It's not fun for people when they have to go out and babysit.
-It changes peoples attitudes and they tend to be disrespectful towards others.
-People tend to act like a different person. For example girls can act kinda slutty and throw themselves at guys.
-With the nights you cant remember you end up waking up to hearing about all the poor decisions you made the night before.
By:Lacey Hutchison
Whats working: the idea for the blog, the first hand experience of the story, everything said was true about people getting to drunk at parties.
ReplyDeleteSuggestion for revision: Possibly talk about a good way to prevent yourself from being one of those drunken idiots.
By: Aaron Gingerich
Lacey,
ReplyDeleteI'd like specific examples in your introduction rather than the vague ones you have here now. Show us a guy doing something stupid. Give us one specific example--it will be more effective that way.
Your voice is very good here. I especially like it when you say "put your big girl panties on!" and "Go for classy instead of trashy."
My main concern, though, is that your essay feels rather unfocused and disorganized. In your comments, you say that your thesis is as follows: "Thesis: People not being able to handle their alcohol and they end up making fools of themselves. Drink Responsibily!" The second part of this--"drink responsibly"--definitely gets your point across, but the first part is not a thesis; it's a topic. Remember that a thesis is a statement of your position on the issue. So your thesis is really that if students are going to drink in college, they should do so responsible.
Also, you list your reasons as follows:
"-It's not fun for people when they have to go out and babysit.
-It changes peoples attitudes and they tend to be disrespectful towards others.
-People tend to act like a different person. For example girls can act kinda slutty and throw themselves at guys.
-With the nights you cant remember you end up waking up to hearing about all the poor decisions you made the night before."
These reasons are mostly very well done here (though the last one needs a little work), but they are never this clearly stated in your actual essay. So you need to go back and make sure that each of these reasons is stated in the appropriate section AND that you only discuss one reason at a time. Right now, your essay feels like a bunch of stories strung together, but if you add these reasons to introduce and wrap up those stories, it will feel more like a finished essay.
Also, you need to spend a good deal of time fixing the word choice, spelling, grammar and punctuation errors in your essay. (Be sure to do that AFTER you finish revising the content of your essay.)