Before I even graduated from high school there were so many of the younger girls getting pregnant. They weren’t just from my school, but all around town. It seemed every other week there was another one. My response would always be, OMG!..U SERiOUS…theres sumthin in the water! But no!. There aint nothing in the water. There just doing it to themselves…on purpose??? U would think! It jus didn’t make any sense. It was absolutely ridiculous! Shit happens but there are plenty of ways for it to be prevented. *Keep your legs closed. * Wrap it up. * Simply get on the pill. Its such a big deal and these LiTTLE GiRLS just don’t get it. They may think they’re ready but they not!
There’s this one group of friends and out of SiX of them ONLY TWO haven’t been knocked up YET. Sad to say but they’re most likely to be next. They’re on the same o’ stuff too!....So I was right! Sittin at home on facebook and I get a txt from my girl talking about, [[girl tell me y …. is pregnant!]] No shocker at all…I had already told myself she was next!.. When you walk around telling people your pregnant cause you want a little bit of attention knowing damn well your not & on top of that all you ever talk about is how you hate to use condoms….ummmm that’s what happens!
It makes me so mad, and you’re probably wondering what the hell do I care for? I better just be glad it aint me. TRUE! But I personally know these LiTTLE GiRLS and it pisses me off because they’re all so pretty, could be smart and could have so much going for themselves but they’re tryna grow up too fast. Wanting a little bit of attention and now they really have it being the talk of the town. Okay it’s not the end of the world and its possible for them to take care of their kids and finish school and even go off to college. It’s just not going to be easy and takes a alot of time and work. Anythings possible and they can get past this mitake they’ve made. How far they get is the big Q! I wish them the best of luck BUT I still don’t feel sorry for them at all!
To wrap it all up all I have to say is don’t be like them and go out of your way and character for attention and to make others happy when your not happy with what your doing Your going to more than likely end up like these girls walkig around with a baby bump by someone who cares nothing about you nor does he want to be with you. Look at what your then stuck with. That aint even koo! Its not one of the most smartest choices so don’t put yourself in the position of letting it happen to you. Be Smart!
By: Tiara Cambron
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Well, I have to agree with you that girls this day and time will stop at nothing for attention. That's pretty unfortunate. Good blog and very accurate, although you might give some advise on what these girls need to work on so they don't feel they HAVE to get that type of attention.
ReplyDeleteBen Spencer
Tiara,
ReplyDeleteThis is an outstanding topic for your blog post, and your voice is wonderful: it's clear, unique, fresh, and catchy.
However, sometimes you take it a bit too far. It doesn't make you sound more unique when you misspell words. It just looks like a mistake. So don't spell words wrong just because you can--like "koo" for "cool." Trust that your voice is clear even without these misspellings.
In addition, there are far too many grammar and punctuation errors here, and you need to spend a significant amount of time dealing with those problems if your revision of the blog is going to pass. Remember that just because you are using slang does not mean that you should not use the correct punctuation.
The beginning of your conclusion—"To wrap it all up"—feels forced. Just say what you want to say without alerting the reader to the fact that this is your conclusion. Also, you repeat your main point—"don’t be like them and go out of your way and character for attention and to make others happy when your not happy with what your doing" and "so don’t put yourself in the position of letting it happen to you"—twice in your conclusion, and doing so dilutes the effectiveness of your post. You only need to say it once.
Ben is right that you could offer advice on how to avoid this predicament. You include those three comments at the beginning—"*Keep your legs closed. * Wrap it up. * Simply get on the pill." Why don't you expand those so each one gets its own section? That might additionally solve your organization problem because right now your essay seems to be lacking organization.
You also might consider telling your reader how you avoided getting pregnant. Remember that your revision has to be 750 words.
Dr. McCaffrey